A longer break than planned

Dear Friends,
It’s not that nothing has happened, it’s just that I’ve stopped writing about it. I’ve been on a longer break than planned. 
From these 3+ years of sending blogs to you I’ve learned so much:
1. You are with me. 
2. Most days are interesting, in a good way. 
3. Some are not. 


I’m going to continue, though not daily, maybe weekly.  Things are evolving.  There are so many ways to communicate. If you have any ideas, let me know!

Love,
k

Here are some recent pictures:

Flowers at Patrice and Jay's
Patrice loves color and it shows
Key Biscayne
Christmas Eve

Blue vases on a shelf in my bedroom at Key Biscayne

Papyrus by the pool
Key Biscayne

San Diego
I think this view is from near the zoo
I went to San Diego last month with my neighbor Sandy
Our old neighbors Kate and Jack led us on a great tour of the city

Kate painted this watercolor of Zing!

Written last night:
Dear Friends,

We are back — Zing! has barely moved from the couch, tired from his stay at Grateful Dog, and I had a normal day after almost a week of Christmas in Miami.

On the flight back yesterday I read Michelle Obama’s autobiography, seatbelt fastened the whole way because it was a bumpy, rainy flight. The air was clear when we landed and the moon was big and yellow. My neighbor Sandy picked me up at the airport near midnight. 

Miami was stone crabs and snapper and black beans; English spoken with a Spanish accent and Spanish with an American accent (sometimes), more construction cranes than buildings on the skyline; sand flies and even mosquitoes; a few sailboats on the bay; watching the palm trees shuffle their fronds in the wind; treasured times with family and friends. Mitch Kaplan, owner of my favorite bookstore (Books & Books) looked harried and his curly hair is now gray,

Today I woke up surprisingly early, went to the gym, and then toured backstage at the Capitol with a friend of Sandy’s, an advisor to a legislative committee on the environment. She showed us all the regular rooms, but with a knowing side patter. Senate chambers are red and Assembly is green, California has 58 counties (Ohio has 88, right?), there is an old and a new part of the Capitol, and the floors don’t match, so you have to take different elevators, Senate bills have goldenrod covers, outgoing governor Jerry Brown played it close to the vest, everyone is waiting to see who the new governor Gavin Newsom names as aides, and it’s still not certain whether he’ll take up residence in the Governor’s Mansion or commute to the Capitol from his home in San Francisco. 

My Christmas tree is still alive. Sacramento is colder than Miami, and I’m glad to be home.

Love,

k

Bill Baggs State Park, Key Biscayne,  FL

California Assembly chambers

Christmas trees can grow on you

I'm getting attached to this tree!

Terrible trees: Santa would not approve

Written last night:

Dear Friends, 

Here’s my tree again — this time I measured the relationships— trunk to tree and length to width, etc., trying for an exact picture.  The bottom 3 pictures are mistakes — what happens when you pull the original along the printer bed while a copy is being made. Santa would not approve.

Love, 

k

My real tree

Terrible Tree #1

Drippy

Terrible Tree #2

Squished

Terrible but Tolerable Tree #3

Leggy

Christmas, nasty and nice

Written last night:
Dear Friends,

Today at the gym:

You know what it’s like -- everyone but you is taut and sculpted and wearing designer stretch things — while you are barely able to crawl up the steps, and you might still be wearing your slippers because you’re half asleep. That’s the super-confident way I approach the gym, anyway. They do a pretty good job at keeping up a sleek, intimidating facade… until this morning  — there was a cryptic sign on the front door that said the lockers don’t work, but it meant all the toilets and showers were out of commission. This is a bad thing at a gym. It turns out someone had flushed 10 terry towels down a toilet over night. It would take a while to fix things. Go to Starbucks across the way if you need a restroom. 

Don’t tell, but some very un-Christmasy part of me was happy. The gym is such a muscular enterprise, but they are human too! Yay! Now, let’s go to Starbucks…

And here’s my little tree — I got some lights today.

Love,

k

My poinsettias are sad

Dear Friends,

Are your poinsettias sad?

Mine are.

… but they still light up the room

Love,

k

Miami take-off

Written in the last couple of days:

Dear Friends,

For a couple of days I couldn’t write — travel and jet lag did me in! 

Miami is back in my blood. (This can be a bad thing, I know, but I mean the city invigorated me.)

Where else do you meet an Uber driver who tried to escape Cuba in a small boat — three times!? He said that the first two he and his cousin were caught by police while still in Cuban waters, sent to jail for two weeks, only to try again. 

“Were you scared?” I asked. “Yes, especially at night.” Sharks. 

The third time they got to Elliott Key, in the bay by Miami, and Border Patrol sent them to Immigration. A cousin already in Miami claimed the pair, so my driver was free. Ten years later, he said, he has a wife, two daughters, and a job cutting awnings in a West Palm Beach factory. He takes the two-hour train there and back every day and drives for Uber on the side. 

Where else do you meet a friend (Susan!) who is heart-breakingly aware of Florida's swiftly shifting water level, showing photos of a familiar boat landing that’s swishing water ankle-deep where it should be dry? 

Where else do you get sunshine and brilliant flowers  and music blasting from open car windows -- all of it almost too bright, too alive? 

Miami.

Then Rachel asks what about Zing? How did he fare while I was gone? I feared he might freak out at my week’s absence, and negate all the training we’d been doing. 

Thankfully, Grateful Dog gave Zing a good “report card.” He slept well, ate regularly, and played with other dogs while I was gone, according to their written records. And he seems ready to continue our training, in which he gets treats when I leave him and go out into the hall for a few minutes. I even went downstairs for 10 minutes to let the delivery men in, and the video says Zing whimpered just once. Progress. We're working our way to 40 minutes, which the vets say is usually a turning point.

And that delivery was my daybed: turquoise velvet. Two people in the lobby swooned as it was passing through, and of course I love it too,  as I love anything turquoise. So now you -- yes YOU! -- can visit comfortably. The daybed is twin size, and if there are two of you, one can sleep on the purple couch. You know you’d like it! 

On the way back from Miami I said to myself I'm coming home. Home. Today I wanted nothing more than to settle in again: laundry, groceries, and sweeping the floor.

Love,
k

Sunrise in the sky
Miami take-off

'Twas the day after Christmas

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

On the day after Christmas we slowed down… some of us explored sea creatures at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas park… or we for a long walk … or sat by the canal alone … I uber-ed to Coconut Grove to visit Pam and Joe, dear friends for years (Pam and I started teaching at Carrollton School the same day.) They miss Clark too. Soon another teacher, Nancy, joined us - we did talk about education (What is the proper learning agenda for one-year-olds in daycare?);  meditation for children (Some prefer to comb their hair…)  but so much more too. And Pam had homemade Christmas cookies.

As it got dark, Pam drove me back to Key Biscayne, where the family had pizza on the patio by the canal.

Love,
k

Across the canal

Christmas Day

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

Merry Christmas — the day is almost over. From what I know of each of you, it was peaceful, rich with family tradition and gratitude. I am realizing more and more that my life overflow with good things. Clark’s death has magnified awareness of each moment’s blessing. So it was a good Christmas, and despite longing for Clark to be here, it was a happy one.

The opening of presents had just begun when I woke up, so I quickly joined the fun. The gift I love most is Juliana’s drawing of an owl on my paper stocking. It may become my trademark. I’ll send a photo soon.  

Presents, presents, presents! Paper, ribbon, where’s the trash? What can we save? Does Santa recycle? It was fun.

Later, I met my friend Lesley at the Peacock Café in Coconut Grove; we discussed poetry, dogs, and her recent visit to Havana and her family home of Cienfuegos, Cuba. (Take small steps when dancing the salsa … )

Then an early dinner with Steph’s family at her grandmother Valerie’s — also in the Grove. Laughs again and easy talk. I like them! Then back to Key Biscayne just in time for dinner (!) I passed on spaghetti, joined in for the talk and the wine. We ate by the water; the wind picked up and blew a napkin away. Perfect weather!

You see what I mean — Christmas moments, rich and rare. 

Love,
k

Hibiscus

Miami Merry Christmas!

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

This was the first Christmas Eve without Clark, but he seemed to swim with me this morning, reminding me of all the moments we spent together on or near water. Sailboat and dinghy, gale and calm … we had time enough to share it all. Of course tears tried to take over, but a person can’t cry and swim at the same time. Something about the breathing! So I kept on swimming, as Clark would have it, and a lovely Christmas Eve began.

There was more work to do preparing dinner, but not nearly as much as yesterday. In the afternoon I walked a mile to Starbucks, where I drank my annual peppermint mocha. As I sat at the outdoor table, sketching the roof against the sky, Jay tapped my shoulder and I jumped. He was out getting wine for tonight. It was fun to run into someone I know, even though it was the family member who is my host. It seemed like I am not a stranger on Key Biscayne.

Everyone came, and dinner couldn’t have been better. We ate by candlelight and stars on the back patio, and before dessert we had a gift exchange. Later, we cleaned up the same way we had cooked — all together.

Here’s my recipe for Christmas potatoes, which (I say modestly) are the best! I made 2 1/2 times the recipe because why not? 

Merry Christmas!

Love,

k

Looking up on Christmas Eve

Roof against the sky, Key Biscayne

I guess this is a Christmas card

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

I guess this is a Christmas card. 
Merry Christmas! I don’t suppose you realize how much your kindness has carried me this year. Love to you!

I am so glad I decided to be with family and friends in Miami this season, and can’t imagine why I ever considered otherwise. Thank you all for steering me right again!

The flight over (across the country!) was uneventful. Even though I had two alarms and a friendly wake-up phone call scheduled, I was kind of nervous I’d sleep right through and miss the 6:04 a.m. flight. So Wednesday night I fell sound asleep and then woke up worried every hour, checked the time, and plopped right back to sleep. The 3 a.m. alarms and phone call worked fine. Debbie the uber driver got me to the airport on time, as promised. Shockingly, it was bustling with others who had probably gone through similar rituals, bleary-eyed like me, but ready for take-off. 

The flight was smooth, the food was terrible, and the connections faultless. I changed planes in Phoenix, which many of you know well. That airport is generous with windows, and because I had plenty of time (thanks, Steph!) I walked back and forth from gates A to B two times, just to marvel. Those craggy black mountains! That festering sky!

Miami met me, familiar and new: the not-unpleasant winter humidity and warmth made me shed my sweater pronto; the airport itself seems bigger now and thus easier to navigate — I love its new (?) floor that resembles the beach, with copper-colored sea creatures pressed in; although it was rush hour when Patrick and Steph picked me up, the traffic kept rolling and we got to Key Biscayne quickly.

Since then we’ve been talking, laughing, cooking. There was a cheesecake emergency (solved!) and several runs to the store. Juliana worked on a secret drawing. Cameron caramelized leeks. John prepared the beef. We are pretty much ready for tomorrow's Christmas Eve family party. 

Earlier today I swam in the pool. Old muscle memory clicked — not that I swam fast or sleek —  just plain doing it felt so good. I love how swimming makes my body alive all over, better than running or even dancing. 

This morning was drippy, but soon it turned into a blue-sky, fluffy-cloud, generous Miami day. We are hoping this carries past Christmas. Especially tomorrow, because our celebration is going to be outside by the water.

Wishing you snow or sun or both — whatever you want for Christmas!

Love,
k

Tree and truffles for Christmas

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

As the holiday approaches I cry for Clark, but I am sure he is happy wherever he is, so I stop. Really, I am sure he is toasting us from beyond. Yay! He can drink and enjoy it. I will toast him back. 

He loved the spirit of Christmas, but he didn’t like the hoopla.  He loved the classical music -- The Messiah and Bach.. And getting me a “perfect gift” for $20. And wondering what I would find for him at the same price. That was the most fun.  Some years were more perfect than others. Last year he gave me a perfect round red clock for the kitchen wall, and I gave him two caps — one said Fargo (where he always threatened to take me) and one with a California bear on it (for our family out here).  Little did we know how symbolic that would become. 

Zing has been showing progress — playing catch with me the last two mornings, like we used to do in Tallahassee, and waiting for me to leave (for a minute or two) while he has a treat. We are getting a little routine going, and I hope it won’t be destroyed by the Christmas disruption. 

Today was full of preparation for going to Miami — packing, and making a few more cards. I used to create pretty complicated cards, but these are simple, and only for family. 

This evening I made truffles for giving. I’m not sure who I’m giving them to. These last few days I’ve been making a list of people I want to thank, and there are so many. Each time I think of one name, another pops up. I am lucky! So far, I’ve been eating the truffles myself. 

Tomorrow is the final holiday touches, and then take-off for Miami at 6:04 a.m. Thursday. I am setting two alarms. 

Love, 
k

My tree has Indian textiles
and gift card mementos

Christmas on my mind

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

Today I did what you probably did: last minute Christmas preparations. First, I arranged a ride to the airport Thursday. Since I’m leaving on the 6:04 a.m. flight, I’ve got to leave here about 
3:45 a.m. As you know, I was going to drive to the airport myself, but through Sandra I’ve contacted an Uber driver who will take me there on time. Yes, on time. Do you detect a little worry? Yes, I’m worried, but I’m going to risk it. Sandra told me this driver, who is a client of hers, is also worried -- that there are too many uber drivers. I guess her work is diminishing.  Enough so she’s willing to drive me at a quarter to 4 in the morning. Pray that her alarm works -- both hers and mine.  (If she doesn’t show up I know the way, and Rosa is ready!)

Then I wrapped presents, made cards, mailed gifts (they’ll be late, but they’re on their way.). The most fun was messing around with paint and glitter for simple cards. 

I worked hard training Zing today. It's like training an athlete … slowly, with consistent progress. He’s not ready to be left alone yet. This might be the greatest challenge I’ve had to my patience. 

About 10:30 a.m. we were driving past the Capitol and saw lots of people converging there. I imagine they had some message for the electoral college, which did its final work today. Then, at 5 p.m. Zing and I were taking a fast walk around the Capitol and we passed TV cameras being set up on the sidewalk. I asked one man what for? and he said to report on the electoral college. “Oh,” I said, “I think I saw a crowd here several hours ago.” He shrugged. I guess they like the view of the Capitol in the setting sun for their timely evening reports. (Forgive my cynicism.)

A little past the TV action, we came upon a woman walking our way, and she said, “Oh, how cute!” Then she looked embarrassed. “Not you,” she said to me. “Your dog.”  OK, OK, Zing, you are cuter than I am!

The woman fussed over Zing and said she hopes to see us — or at least Zing — again.

I hope you’re enjoying your Christmas preparations!

Love,
k

Sacramento Christmas tree

Here comes Santa Claus ... and here ... and here ...

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

Capitol Mall is usually vacant on Saturday morning — unless there’s an event (and there are a lot of them — a run, a march, a fair). There hasn’t been much happening since the weather turned cold, so on our morning walk today Zing and I were kind of surprised to see Santa on the otherwise empty mall. Yes, Santa was walking down to the Capitol. No sleigh. No reindeer. In the distance he looked rather lonely. Then another Santa appeared a couple of blocks behind the first one, and on the other side of the mall we saw a two more Santas holding hands, then two young women in red skirts and white boots came skipping by — all heading to the Capitol. The first Santa could have been a dream, but as more and more appeared I began to wonder if there even is a North Pole. The crowd of Santas shook my notions of Christmas. Finally, close to home again, I asked a couple of Santas waiting for the light to turn green what could possibly be happening ...  

“It’s the Santa Fun Run!” said one, whose beard looked rather fake now that I was up close.

Zing and I had to get our coffee and kibble quick or we would have followed up on this. But then, we weren’t dressed in red and neither of us has a beard … we were completely out of place in this crowded North Pole, California style.

After that Zing went to the gym, and when Sandra brought him back she stayed to talk a while. It’s good to be getting to know people out here. Then Zing and I did a few Christmas errands, and toward late afternoon we drove southeast — no, southwest — I get east and west confused because the ocean is in a different direction out here. Anyway, we drove a little past Davis to this farm store Mary Kaye told me about. She indicated that the almonds at Pedrick’s might rival Blue Diamond, so I had to find out. But when I got there I was mesmerized by the fat bags of cashews. I'd never considered what a cashew tree might look like. I still have no idea, but I want to find out. I bought two big bags of cashews, some lemon candy, and a tiny bag of pistachios already shelled. Mary Kay says the pistachio tree is most beautiful. I’ll let you know.

Love,

k

Santas in sneakers

Countryside across from Pedrick's

The gift to be happy

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

Today I realized I am going to be OK, and that is Clark’s Christmas gift to me. 

I was walking home from the Crocker Museum after having lunch there with my new friend Mary Kaye, and I felt happy. Better than that, I felt at home. Then I realized it was all Clark’s doing — I know he expected this of me all along — and I began to cry. But I was still happy.

Things are coming together — no more breaking beds; the appliances are all in order (for now!); the lamps and window shades and pillows and quilts all finally make me feel at home. Before, I feared that every step I took would lead to disaster: I would get evicted, not pass the driver’s license test, lose my purse and keys with no one around to help me. This is just the beginning of a litany of fears. You don’t want me to go on! I guess it was anxiety, the same thing Zing suffered. All along I knew he was echoing me. We may be on our way to having that dependable routine his veterinarians recommend.

Overall, it was a fun day, with friends and family: Sandra coming by to take Zing to the gym, phone talks with Pam and Mona, lunch, a visit to the Blue Diamond Gift Shop,* and ending with pizza with Patrick and Stephanie. 

Love,

k

* That can of Blue Diamond almonds you buy at the grocery comes from Sacramento — it’s a growers’ cooperative with a giant operation about two blocks from Grateful Dog. Lots of nuts grow around here: pistachios, almonds, walnuts, and even some pecans. 

Almond huller from 1909
in the lobby outside the Blue Diamond gift shop