A new season

Written last night:

Even here in California the trees are losing their autumn leaves. You can step through crunched golden crumbs on the sidewalk, then look up and see they came from the tree shedding leaves without ceremony. As in Tallahassee, fall here is not splashy, but leaves do drop, it is chilly in the morning, and the days are shorter: 6 a.m. is dark now. It seems like, without ceremony, I too am shedding — not leaves, but I am letting go of a season — the stunned feeling that covered me these last three months is dropping away. 

Today, for instance, was kind of normal! First thing, I dealt with the bank and the insurance agency (simple questions, really, finalizing the transition from Tallahassee to Sacramento). Now I don’t hesitate to ask "dumb” questions without apology.  Later in the morning I practiced driving, like a 16-year-old. I’m going to have to take a driving test to get a California license. I drove  up Broadway to the DMV and picked up the book to prepare for the driver’s test. On the way home I got lost, kind of on purpose,  disregarding the Mazda navigation system. Rosa and I went home by instinct. I also drove around in West Sacramento, which is just across the bridge, and got lost and found myself there too. A week or so ago I simply couldn’t have done this. I was frozen. My life in Sacramento is beginning to warm up. 

Not that I’m completely normal! No, my transition is slow, like autumn leaves fall, one by one. But I do feel more “myself.” I did other normal things today, like give Zing a bath, and tell him sternly “No Bark!” I walked to the library to sign up for a card, and made a donation to the public radio station, which Clark and I always did, and took note which streets are filled with people and which ones empty quickly after 5 p.m. I learned my cruise control wasn’t working because I hadn’t turned it on. Oh, and I made a quick trip to Ikea in West Sacramento. I bought some cinnamon rolls, which is reason enough to go to Ikea. They’re right up front, and you don’t even have to venture into the terrible maw of furniture and style beyond. I did go in there, but it was overwhelming. I’m not ready for the complete Ikea experience yet.

Love,
k