Love is ...

Dear Friends,
Last weekend I was in Columbus, Ohio, for a bridal shower for Casey, the fiancé of my nephew Nick.  

I wrote this poem for Casey and made it into an accordion book.  Welcome into our family, Casey!

Love is a kite

that flies the wild wind

with a string you can barely hold onto

Love is a seed

that grows silent and slow

then suddenly bursts into blossom

Love is a look

that nobody sees

except the one it was meant for

Love is a night

when you cry in your sleep

then you turn and his arms gently hold you

Love is two hearts

tangled aloft

claiming a piece of the sky

Love,

k

How the year unfolds

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

Every year, except for maybe one, I list 10 things that made a difference to me. Most just happened, without planning, as the year took shape.

2018

Ate less

Exercised more

Still jumpy, but now I stop and breathe sometimes

Read actual books

Watched less political commentary on TV

Traveled south to Modesto, north to Seattle, and west to Russian River

Re-discovered (after 50 years) my cousin Damien and his wife Adrienne, a Sacramento native

Keith and Judy married

Patrick and Steph bought a house nearby 

Best: I’m getting to know Patrick and Steph and I love the adults they have become

What are your 10 things?

Love,

k

Sweet, cool, casual

Written last night: 
Dear Friends,

It was so cool that you needed a sweater this evening. Everyone is saying this is not normal, but nobody’s complaining.

My mind is jumping around. (I’m watching the news.) 

It was an uneventful day — for me. I loved having an impromptu dinner with family in the courtyard restaurant around the corner, and talking on the phone with friends. Small pleasures are big. 

Love,

k

12" x 12"

Pecans with brown sugar

I was making these for a friend, but ... 

I burned a few. (They're still good.)

I'm scared of the small stuff

Written July 23, 2018
Dear Friends,

Today Patrice asked me  — what was it? I’m not exactly sure the words — but we were talking about how my life has changed, and I said I don’t yet feel quite complete over here in this new skin. She said Why? or What?  What’s not complete? Well, for one thing, I want to be able to rent a car without shuddering. Then I thought, hey, I don’t even need a car while they replace Rosa’s hood. There’s Uber and Lyft. And yes, that’s true, but no, I’m not going to try the car-less experiment (tempting though it is). I want to do those normal things that Clark took care of; some are new and scary to me. But it’s OK. Patrick’s going to be there with me at Hertz.

Love,

k

Written July 24, 2018
Dear Friends,I got the rental car today, with the reassuring presence of Patrick. 
Yes — it was easy. You knew it would be!
Love,
k

Magic photos

Rodney, Keith’s talented photographer-cousin, just sent me these great shots from Keith and Judy’s wedding. Dave and Rebecca at top, and Patrick and Steph at bottom. I have no idea what is going on in that dramatic moment!  Now, Rodney, can you please take my driver's license photo? 

Searching for wine in wine country

While Mary, Gretchen and I were in Napa last week my goal was to find a bottle that I like for $20 or less. Here’s a drawing of the winner (actually, the only $20 bottle we came across!), plus a practical skill that I learned from Gretchen. Thanks, Gretchen!

Love,

k

Life behind us ... mystery before us

Written last night:
Dear Friends,

It’s Patrick’s 33rd birthday, and I enjoyed it as thoroughly as a mother might — how great to make a chocolate cake and dinner of mac and cheese for him and Steph! And then to talk and laugh together — one simple day to stop and celebrate the life behind us and the mystery before us.

Love,

k

Abuzz with love

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

It’s been a whirlwind week or two — Last week we said goodbye to Rebecca and Dave, who stayed with us for the wedding, and they felt at home here, I am sure. Zing! and I could feel it. Keith and Judy are off to their honeymoon, and this morning Zing! and I hugged Mary and Gretchen goodbye, after their short visit from Ohio. Zing! warmed up to them immediately, and he even jumped into Mary’s lap instead of mine as soon as they met. (That’s OK, Zing! I love her too!) We spent two days in Napa, following Gretchen’s elegant tour guide. I’ll tell more later, but for now this is it. My head is happily abuzz from all the love we’ve shared. 

Love,

k

Zing! misses everyone

There's a wedding today

Dear Friends,

There’s a wedding today  (Keith and Judy!), and these flowers suit the mood.

Love,

k

Flowers

Acrylic on board

12" x 12" 

Flowers for now

There's a wedding coming up (my step-son Keith and Judy), and these flowers suit the mood.

Flowers
acrylic on board
12" x 12" 

Love and cookies

Written last night:
Dear Friends,

Today was Clark’s birthday, and I felt happy. For starters, last night his special little U-M Ibis mascot jumped off the shelf, hit the floor hard and began singing a fight song. I think it came from the Seminoles football it was holding. Clark loved it, which is why I keep it. The thing never left its perch before. It made me laugh and  cry at the same time. Wherever Clark is, he’s having fun. 

At the end of the day I made Valentine cookies. 

Love,

k

2017 Highlights

Written last night:
Dear Friends,
Most years I keep tabs on my personal highlights. Here’s 2017:

• Got settled in Sacramento
• Verna’s Girls (Verna Krumm — Mom) met in Key Biscayne MLK weekend. 
• Drove to Tahoe, Grass Valley, Placerville, Calaveras County, Amador County, Redding, Carmichael, Yosemite, Apple Valley, Lodi, Napa, Yountville
• Drew a lot
• Got some routines: exercise, farmers markets, chamber music
• Weddings — Gretchen and Rich; Jeffrey and Megan
• Visitors stayed here (all friends/no relatives YET!)
• Discovering Sacramento poets
• Miami visits
• American River walks
• Ukulele lessons
• I’m reading books
• I began to acquiesce

Nope— I still don’t know the difference between I-80 and I-5, and I got lost on my way to Ikea yesterday. Maybe in 2018!

Thank you for being here in 2017. Here’s to 2018!

k

and, yes, a dog

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

A year has passed and I am more “normal” now.

During that year I learned:

I hate the word grief.

Grief is not sadness.

Clark is in many ways alive.

Clark still loves me — us — now more than ever.

He believed in us and treasured us. 

I am lucky.

I have family 

I have friends

and, yes, a dog.

Love,

k

How to juggle dogs

Written last night:

Dear Friends, 

Nice, slow Sunday, unless you count walking three dogs at a time.

Yesterday I walked two dogs. I thought it would be trouble, but it wasn’t. Gully and Broozer and I did fine. So today I added Zing.  Three dogs, three leashes. It’s like juggling. It was a fun act. I just couldn’t get them all in one photo.

Love,

k

2 dogs + 2 leashes + two arms = 1 walk

Written last night:
Dear Friends,

Today was peppered with sleepiness — I didn’t sleep enough last night. Dreamy is the perfect way to approach walking three dogs, (two at a time). I am walking Broozer and Gully + Zing. A long time ago, when Zing was a pup and his cousin Gully was young too, I walked them both on the Tallahassee path in the woods. They wove their leashes in and out, each swerving after a different squirrel, pulling me in two different directions. At the time I didn’t know how to switch a leash from hand to hand, or around my back. I thought I would run up and down the hills with two happy dogs. Instead I was becoming a third animal myself, flailing and growling and stumbling and soon enough turning back. I don’t think I’ve walked two dogs since. But Zing must have taught me something over the years, because taking care of three dogs (well, I walked Zing separately) was uneventful today. Don’t worry, guys, I’ll take you out tomorrow as well!

I also spent hours (literally!) reading, and I made beef bourguignon with chu

ck from the butcher where I found delectable bones that just might keep Zing quiet.

Love,

k

Night energy -- or not

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

It’s way late for me. You know how it is when you think you have new nighttime energy? But you really don’t …

Tonight was dinner with people I love: Stephanie and Patrick, Brian and Debbie, Stephanie’s Mom. They are visiting from Miami. After dinner, I bumped into two friends on the elevator and we stood outside the 12th-floor elevator doors and talked for at least 30 minutes — probably more. Then Zing and I went for a stroll in the heat; the sidewalk is normally empty in the evening, but tonight people were walking out from a concert at the Arena. 

Have a relaxing three-day weekend!

Love,

k

New hall table
Zing says I should take all the homey stuff off
I remind him the thing in the middle  is his leash

Flowers from Trader Joe's

Watching the flowers grow

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

It was great spending time with Steph and Patrick today … brunch at The Porch, a Louisiana-inspired place with great coffee and cornbread and fried chicken. It's one of several "southern" restaurants in the Sacramento grid. (The South is another.) I enjoy being a South-snob, thanks to 10 years in Tallahassee. 

P & S  returned to the country; Zing and I returned to our balcony, where I read in the heat and he watched the flowers grow.

Love,

k

Ukulele with a pencil

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

As you know, I’ve fallen in love with ukuleles — even more than before (Clark played the uke) --  thanks to Meredith, who asked me to draw one for her. At first I was nervous because I didn’t know exactly what she had in mind, and also because I didn't even know how many strings a ukulele has (4). I spent about a week just looking at ukuleles and talking to people who play them. I made measured drawings, as if I were going to build one. Finally loosened up, I made my own ukulele song. I like what I came up with, and so does Meredith.

Love,

k

Free to celebrate the small things

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

Nothing happened today. Our neighborhood was still. Until now, that is — it’s dark now --  fireworks time, and there are rumblings from somewhere near the bridge, where Zing and I last saw them New Year’s Eve. That’s when Zing reminded me Dogs Do Not Like Fireworks. So tonight he’s wearing his Thundershirt (a snug wrap that’s supposed to feel like a hug to take a dog’s mind off his problems).  In a minute I’m going to sneak onto the balcony to see the show. 

This afternoon, walking around Capitol Park, we said hi to a young man and his mom. When the guy bent to pat Zing I noticed he had a musical instrument in a case on his back. “Is that a ukulele?” I asked. I think I kind of pounced. “It’s part ukulele,” he said. Delighted that someone cared, he took it out of the case and showed me. It had six strings, not four. He played me a little bit, and said he’s just learning. He likes the ukulele size because he travels a lot, but he wants the six-string sound. Perfect. 

On Independence Day, don’t forget Abraham Clark, our — or your, some of you — ancestor who signed the Declaration of Independence. I took out a $2 bill and said hi to him, there on the back with the other signers. He makes this day even more special. 

Happy Fourth!

Love,

k

Woman with turquoise umbrella in the rose garden

Abraham Clark: from biographies of the signers

California's curvy, curly, captivating roads

Written last night:

Dear Friends,

Zing and I drove to the country today to see Patrick and Steph and their dogs. I’m getting comfortable looping about the Sierra Nevada foothills. These roads, compared to Florida’s straight shots, embody the difference between curly hair and straight. I’m beginning to find the hills and valleys peaceful. Captivated, I pulled over to take these photos in Amador County on the way home this afternoon.

Love,

k

That looks like grapes, top right