Book rules

I broke my own rule & got Lorrie Moore's A Gate at the Stairs to read in Columbus this upcoming week. Today I returned it to the library. Although Moore is one of the contemporary greats, I don't like her mild sarcasm. I don't do irony. I'm not an intellectual. I read a chapter and a half before telling myself it's OK to stop. It was like playing golf: good for other people. I could have saved myself the time because Moore broke my First Rule of Fiction: Don't read books with the word had on page 1. This mindless rule works for me.

Now I have Diane Ackerman's essays Dawn Light & Mark Spragg's An Unfinished Life. (he'd on page 1 doesn't count; it's only had I avoid.) I'm going to return Nevada Barr's 13 1/2. I discovered a new rule: no books with child rape on page 1.